Hail Zuckerberg!

In an interview today in his 6,000 square foot penthouse suite atop a Trump Hotel, Mark Zuckerburg explained himself.

“Facebook will not be the arbiter of truth!” he proclaimed. “Whether it is people denying the holocaust, people proclaiming the earth to be flat, or a president proclaiming ridiculous conspiracy theories, we will not interfere! After all, on the eighth day, God saw click bait and proclaimed that it was good.

“Why do I not intervene? I am not intellectually capable of separating truth from wild-ass-crazy fiction.

“None of my employees are willing to do anything that overshadows me or inhibits my role as a money-grubbing ass-kissing sycophant! Besides, if my internet sites make a profit, why should I care if they result in death or destruction?

“When I die I will be fantastically rich, even if I have been and will forever be morally bankrupt!”

We hesitated to, but finally asked him, “You do know that you can’t take fame and fortune with you when you die?”

“Ha!” he replied. “I’m spending millions to ensure that I never die! Even if I do, my minions will figure out a way for me to take everything with me!”

One of the press corps started to ask him why he believes he’s immortal, but thought better of it. Instead, we all left and went for coffee.

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