Entertain Me!

When you’ve lived as long as I have . . . .

Okay, I’m not really living. I actually died over 2,000 years ago, nevertheless, I remain sentient.

If you’ve watched the world as long as I have, you see all kinds of things: The good; The bad; and the “You’ve gotta be fuckin’ kidding me!?!”

'Trumponomics' Tries To Praise Trump, Instead Exposes Him

By this point I’m jaded, but your immediate past president was a hoot to watch. On rare occasions, he slipped up and told the truth (How embarrassing). He proudly and publicly issued pardons or commutations for many of his cronies. He encouraged an attack on his own Capitol. When he left office, he still had the ability to piss people off by moving into Mar a Lago when he promised he wouldn’t.

There goes the neighborhood!

However, my all time favorite was his choice of advisors. I’m not talking about his daughter and son-in-law, the Botox kids. I’m not talking about Rudy (“I’m not senile–what was I saying?”) Giuliani. I’m talking about the pillow guy. He listens to a pillow salesman. In the annals of national leaders, that’s one-of-a-kind, especially since he claims he doesn’t really sleep at night. Classic!

On the other hand, your new president–B-O-R-I-N-G!!!

Goes to church. Tries to stick to the facts. Loves his wife. Would rather grab a rosary than some random female’s genitals. Reads his daily briefing. B-O-R-I-N-G!!!

Give me a break! I’m not asking for the world, just a little understanding. When you have no body, you can’t scratch or let out a decent belch. I haven’t had a drink in over two millennia. The only thing I’ve got to pass the time is watching you people. Please, Make America Crazy Again!

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