When Eddie Said He Didn’t Like Teddie . . .

Ted Cruz.

While other politicians are chameleons, changing colors and shape as convenient, Rafael Edward (Ted) Cruz is so amorphous, one can never be sure what he is, what he stands for, or what he believes.

For someone without a backbone, this amorphous state is ideal.

His father was Cuban who sought and obtained political asylum in the United States. Ted was born in Canada. At the time of his birth, his father was a naturalized Canadian citizen. Fortunately for Ted, his mother had been born in Wilmington, DE, ensuring his US citizenship even though he was born outside the United States with a non-citizen father.

Today, he is firmly anti-immigrant. He hates immigrants as much as he hates Americans. While unproven, it has been said that he hates puppies and kittens because they expect to be fed, sheltered, and receive free medical care.

In fairness, Ted was academically successful, with a remarkable ability to regurgitate facts and restate theories without the need to think critically. Conscious of all that he had benefitted from, after college and before starting law school, Ted volunteered to serve in the – – – – – oops; never mind.

As a peer of Captain Heel Spurs, Ted was awarded the Open Palm crossed with gold coins. His lack of military service testifies to his desire to be neither a loser nor a sucker, unlike those who swore an oath, upheld it, and went in harm’s way.

Today, Ted is still perfecting his natural-born ability to kiss ass to obtain what he wants. He has a minimal relationship with or awareness of honesty. In other words, he is the very embodiment of the 21st century GOP.

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