Those Who Can-Do

The Washington Post reported: President Trump on Monday berated the nation’s governors on a conference call, describing them as “weak” in the face of growing racial unrest and urging them to try to “dominate” unruly protests, according to three people on the call who spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss the private conversation.

Heroes take action while others are content to sit in a place of safety and tell others what they should do. Heroes expose themselves to danger because they are focused on their goal. It is not their intent, but they become larger than life.

True leaders lead, which mean they are at the front with their people. Because of this, they inspire. At Fort Bragg, there is a memorial to “Iron Mike.” Iron Mike is not a particular person, but embodies the American Soldier–particularly Airborne Troops. Iron Mike’s challenge? “Follow Me!” I’ll lead the charge. I’ll go into danger first.

As far as the others? In the military, they have a term for those who sit in safety and bark orders–REMFs–Rear Echelon Mother Fuckers.

You take it from here.

Biblical Proportions?

In my day, in what you would call BC (Before Christ) or BCE (Before the Common Era–what ever the hell that means), when earthquakes, famine, pestilence, or other disasters struck, it was seen as a not-so-subtle hint from God to straighten up and fly right.

To repent for their bad behavior, the Israelis covered themselves with ashes and wore coarse garments (really). Denying themselves physical comfort and pleasure was a sign of penitence. They fasted. They rethought their direction. Eventually, things would return to normal. They would briefly be thankful, but soon–like every other group of humans–they would slide back into their old habits.

My favorite among them was Jonah. Not a very striking or significant man, as I recall–in fact, he was rather plain and unremarkable. God told him to go to Nineveh to tell the people there to repent or be destroyed. Jonah saw this as a fool’s errand at best, or a suicide mission, so he tried to hide from God. Naturally, he did not succeed. On board a ship during his futile attempt, a storm arose, he was blamed, tossed overboard, and swallowed by a fish. (Even I know that whales are not fish–so there.) By hook or by crook (or fish), he ended up closer to Nineveh and got the hint.

Grudgingly, he delivered God’s message to the people of Nineveh. Surprisingly, at least to him, everybody listened–including the king. They all repented, donned sackcloth, and sat in the ashes or dust as a sign of their acceptance of God’s judgement and to express regret for their actions.

God spared Nineveh.

The people of Nineveh were grateful–but not Jonah. He had expected to see great power come down from the heavens to destroy the city–fire, brimstone, lightning, avenging angels, and more. Because the people and their king had repented, there were no celestial fireworks.

Jonah was disappointed.

God was not. He was pleased.

Maybe today’s pandemic is a not-so-subtle hint to you.

Abe, He Hardly Knew Ye

Trump Says US Press Treats Him Worse than Lincoln | Voice ...

Comments before and during the Fox interview that never happened.

Fox News: Mr. President, do you prefer that we toss softball questions, wiffleball questions, or marshmallow questions at you?

Trump: The press always asks me nasty questions, mean questions. I don’t want any nasty questions.

Fox News: So marshmallow questions it is. You’ve said that the press treats you worse than they treated President Abraham Lincoln, would you care to expound on that.

Trump: Expound? I haven’t gained a single pound. It’s the bulletproof vest, trousers, and suit coat. I golf to keep myself in shape.

Fox News: Yes, Mr. President. We’re sitting in the Lincoln Memorial. That must have some special meaning to you.

Trump: Lincoln? The press treats me much worse than they treated Lincoln. Lincoln was president before Obama, wasn’t he? Ten-fifteen years before Obama? Obama screwed everything up. Lincoln might have put him up to it, you know.

Fox News: Yes, sir. I’m young so his presidency was before my time as a hard charging Fox News reporter. So, tell me, Mr. President, what do you think of Lincoln?

Trump: I hear he was good. People say he is a Republican. I don’t remember him–I may have met him once or twice–but I don’t recall. If he is a Republican, that’s–well, good. Good. Very good. I like loyal Republicans. Maybe I should have Jared contact him.

Fox News: Mr. President, Abraham Lincoln is dead.

Trump: He’s dead? Sad. Very sad.

Maybe we should build a monument to him. Something with a huge wall. I’ll have Ivanka look into that.

Fox News Really Doesn't Want To Talk About The Good Jobs ...

It’s Not So Bad

As I watch the tug-of-war between your economy and your health, I thought I could offer some helpful advise. Many of you are worrying that the attempts to return to normal when things aren’t normal might not work out so well. Not to worry.

Having been an observer for several millennia, I can tell you how the story will unfold. Money always wins. People are born and people die, but money keeps on going.

In your case, what will be interesting will be after the resurgence, how will the demographics shift. Will it be the No Mask crowd? Will it be those who live in population centers where they have quality medical facilities? Will it be those in rural areas–more spread out, but less medical capability and capacity? Who lives? Who dies? Who knows!

I promised helpful advice, so here goes. Death isn’t so bad once you get used to it. It’s the getting used to it part that takes time. In my case, it took roughly 2400 years, but today I’m better than before.

Political Quotes

Here are some interesting quotes that might have come from a political party’s guide for today’s candidates and campaign managers.

  • “The victor will never be asked if he told the truth. ”
  • “The leader of genius must have the ability to make different opponents appear as if they belonged to one category. ”
  • “Humanitarianism is the expression of stupidity and cowardice.”
  • “I use emotion for the many and reserve reason for the few.”

Like most quotations, they may not be 100 percent accurate, but you get the idea. The source of these was a very popular and powerful politician. If you don’t recognize them, maybe the next one will help.

  • “If you tell a big enough lie and tell it frequently enough, it will be believed.”

The author?  Adolph Hitler.

Aye, the Play’s the Thinge

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The Trump Thespian Society is known for famous actors. These include Mick Mulvaney with acting credits for both the Office of Management and Budget Director and Chief of Staff,  as well as such well known stars as Jim Mattis, Jeff Sessions, John Kelly, etc., etc., etc.

Ladies and gentlemen, tonight the role of Chief of Staff will be played by Mark Meadows.

 

. . . and several butchers’ aprons. And now, something completely different.

In order to save the American people from the coronavirus, President Trump has sprained both his thumbs as he attempts to twitter* away the disease.

 

* If one who runs is a runner and one who bakes is a baker, is one who uses twitter a twit?

Pandemic or Plague?

Over the millenia I’ve seen my share of plagues–black death, bubonic plague, septicemic plague, pneumonic plague, and a few whose names I never could pronounce. With modern medicine, you no longer call them palgues–now call them pandemics. Pandemic sound so much more clinical and therefore less dangerous.

Of course, the Spanish Flu pandemic of 1918 killed between 50 and 100 million people, which is right up there with the plagues. I grant you that the records from the Middle Age and prior are based on guesstimation–no computers, no accurate numbers, etc. but a million deaths here and a million deaths there and pretty soon you’re dealing with a plague.

Now, the world is facing the corona virus, or as the scientists call it, COVID-19. Will a rose under any other name smell as sweet? Will a disease under any other name kill as many? It’s currently called a pandemic. Due to political pressure, it will probably never be called a plague–regardless of the death toll. Calling a skunk’s fur Alaska Sable doesn’t change its actual identity.