Flynn Case Dropped! No One Surprised!

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An imaginary conversation

Reporter: “Why was the case against Michael Flynn dropped?”

Dept of Justice (DOJ) Spokesperson: “Obviously, because he’s innocent.”

Reporter: “But, he pled guilty!”

DOJ: “Yeah, he did that.”

Reporter: “So he admitted that he had done the illegal acts they accused him of.”

DOJ: “Obviously, he didn’t know any better.”

Reporter: “Didn’t know any better? He was a frickin’ three-star general! Of course he knew better!”

DOJ: “We all make mistakes.”

Reporter: “He was caught and he admitted–on the record–to being guilty!”

DOJ: “But he got better.”

Reporter: “No one “gets better” from being guilty!”

DOJ: “Flynn did, which proves you’re wrong.”

Reporter: “President Donald J. Trump fired him because he was guilty!”

DOJ: “But as I told you, he got better. Even the President noticed and refers to him as an innocent man who was attacked by human scum.”

Reporter–Stands up and walks out

DOJ: “Where are you going?”

Reporter: “To visit a friend-of-a-friend who works in the visa section of the New Zealand embassy.”

 

So Perfect It’s Good

The administration provided an update on their effort to resolve the COVID-19 pandemic. Scattered throughout a two-hour self-congratulatory and often-contradictory campaign speech were several potential facts. We did not get a transcript of the president’s speech, only an abbreviated summary. We have not fact-checked the entire document, which appears to be written in crayon, although it might be lipstick, making it somewhat difficult to read. This is our best shot:

“Our response to the hoax pandemic has been perfect–so perfect, it’s good. Good.  Real good.

“In the past I’ve rated my leadership as a 10, but that obviously is too low, even on a scale of one to five. Let me explain some of the amazing things I’ve done. I removed all those pesky doctors and scientists from the pandemic task force. I also removed every inspector general I could find. All they did was slow down progress.

“Next, I put Vice President Pence in charge of the pandemic task force. I’ve heard good things about him, I’m not sure I ever met him, but people say good things about him. He has years of expertise for this type of problem.

“Next, I put Jared Kushner in charge. It might be the same task force, it might be a different one. It doesn’t matter. Jared has so much experience. Many years. He has more years experience than he’s been alive.

“I announced that I may create another task force. Is it the second, or is it the third. Who knows. More is better. I’d put Ivanka in charge, but I don’t want her to keep missing her guitar lessons.

“You know, she created over two thirds of the jobs in America. The other third were stolen by hoards of immigrants when they weren’t raping, murdering, or smuggling drugs. So if you ever had a job, it’s thanks to Ivanka. Besides, she’s hot. I mean, if I weren’t her father, mmm mmm. Gotta love Ivanka.

“Finally, I’ve managed to seize millions of dollars worth medical equipment and supplies that was being hoarded by hospitals. All they were doing is using things once, then throwing them away. Wasteful. Sad.

“In any case, my performance has been perfect and getting better.”

 

No Integrity Allowed

Trump fires intelligence community watchdog who told Congress about whistleblower complaint that led to impeachment

CNN Headline

Apparently, the White House has decided that integrity is a disqualifying factor for employment in the federal government. This is probably why CAPT Brett Crozier, the skipper of the USS Theodore Roosevelt was cashiered. CAPT Crozier put the safety of his men above himself and his career. Such blatant integrity is not to be tolerated.

A final irony is that a REAL Navy Captain was fired on the orders of an ACTING Secretary of the Navy. Since Acting Navy Secretary Thomas Modly’s action does not appear to be a public relations coup, let’s see how long it takes for Trump to throw him under the bus.

I can’t wait to see how historians portray this president for middle school civics classes in twenty years.

Prejudicial, I Mean Presidential, Politics

I love politics! I love the intrigue, the feints, the intrigue, the outrageous claims, the intrigue, and counterclaims. Did I mention intrigue? If you wrote about real life politics as fiction, your editor would strike it out. In real life, though,  it is, sadly, real.

Your Joe Biden now looks to be in a good position to win the Democratic Party’s nomination. In the meantime, the Grand OLD Party (Did you notice a bit of a sardonic edge there?) is preparing to investigate Biden, his son, his mother’s cousin twice removed, and a classmate of his from kindergarten. (Look at her eyes in the kindergarten class picture! Need I say more?)

What should he do? What should he do?

He could say:

  1. “I believe you have an issue with my son, Hunter Biden. Whether or not it’s valid, when he became a legal adult, I no longer could tell him what to do. I couldn’t even see his grades from college or make a medical appointment for him. Even if I wanted to control him, I could not. Deal directly with him. (Since he’s not running for public office, he’ll probably just ignore you.”
  2. “Inasmuch as we are looking at my son, it’s only fair that you either self report on any and all irregularities with regard to your children in addition to any questionable acts that you might have committed. People will be conducting an investigation of you and your children’s activities over the past 20 years.”
  3. “Why? Why will this happen? What’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.”

Centuries upon Centuries

I’ve spoken. I’ve written. I’ve done what you would call “performance art.” All this has taken centuries.

Let me put that in perspective. Your father’s birth to your death might be around a century. Now multiply that by 20 or 30. Got it? Good.

I resorted to walking around in daylight carrying a lighted lamp claiming to be looking for an honest man. THAT is how desperate I was and am for exposing the truth. However, sooner or later, when one is not successful, it is wise to give up and seek another course.

I’ve been writing here (wherever here is) for over a year. Being dead, I do not have Twitter, Facebook, or whatever, nor do I want them. I have always fallen victim to the belief that people would seek the truth; if I were a video game, that might be true.

Bottom Line: If you want me to keep writing, do what you can to get others to follow this blog. If there aren’t sufficient people interested in what I have to say by the Autumn Equinox, I will cease writing and take my efforts elsewhere.

If few respond, then I must believe that people prefer the sensational and inconsequential to the truth.

The ball–as you say–is in your court. I’ll be napping in my sewer (look it up if you don’t believe me).

I Can’t Do It

I have kept my stylus to myself lately, because I just cannot deal with your so-called systems of government.

Some rulers are interesting, such as Genghis Khan or Alexander the Great who conquered everything in site before he died at age 32. Some are bizarre, such as Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus (who hated being called Caligula) or China’s Jin Hui Di. Others were just evil, like Stalin and Hitler. Even with all their faults (maybe because of them) these leaders were, at least, interesting.

On the other hand, the current cast of the play, “Modern Earth and It’s Leaders” is just plain bad theater. It’s boring and the characters are all one-dimensional. I’m not so fond of the script, either, and recommend it be completely rewritten.

Please, for the sake of posterity, either rewrite the tale and recast the entire troupe or close the show. Farce does not work with these players, all of whom take themselves far too seriously for comedy. For the record, I’m not fond of tragedies.

I cannot write about something if it is not at least minimally interesting.

 

LATEST FAKE GNUS!!!!

In a surprise move today, the United States Supreme Court issued a ruling with wide-reaching impact on the future selection of America’s leaders.

A number of issues have challenged the judicial system all the way to the nation’s highest court. These have included the ongoing allegation of voter fraud, disenfranchisement of minority groups, and Gerrymandering–all to ensure the continual reelection of incumbents.

The role of the Electoral College raises concerns, especially when the winner of the popular vote is repeatedly not the candidate who is elected. There are the credible—and frequent—charges that foreign governments interfere with US elections.

The Court ruled that selection for high office—cabinet members, ambassadors, the President and the Vice President—will from this point on be determined by polls, rather than elections. Chief Justice John G. Roberts, Jr., stated that it was his pleasure to present the courts judgement with a ruling and an opinion that were both unanimous, with no hint of dissent.

Our decision is based on the Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution. We have determined that equal protection under the law is impossible when each of the individual states determines voting processes and procedures independently, delegating some of said authority to subordinate organizations, including counties, parishes, and political parties.

We anticipate that intelligent citizens have questions, which we will attempt to answer:

“Should this matter not be resolved by Congress?” The US Congress has shown the inability to address legal issues more complex than renaming post offices. Its failure to act in any meaningful manner since 1941 has demonstrated the de facto and ultimately the du jour abdication of Congressional authority. Given that members of Congress exercise neither authority nor accept responsibility, they will continue to be elected.

“What about the President? Doesn’t he have a voice?” The court acknowledges that the President does indeed have a voice, as well as a Twitter account, a Press Secretary, a Communications Director, and Fox News.

 “Then why not let the President address this issue by Executive Order?” Based on previous Executive Orders exceeding Constitutional authority, the Court deemed that this was inappropriate.

 “What about the Vice-President?” The powers of the Vice President cannot exceed those of a sitting President.

“Then why does the Judiciary have the authority to make this ruling?” The precedent has been well established that the other branches of government routinely defer decisions, particularly difficult decisions, to the Judiciary. The Court is merely adhering to said precedent.