So Perfect It’s Good

The administration provided an update on their effort to resolve the COVID-19 pandemic. Scattered throughout a two-hour self-congratulatory and often-contradictory campaign speech were several potential facts. We did not get a transcript of the president’s speech, only an abbreviated summary. We have not fact-checked the entire document, which appears to be written in crayon, although it might be lipstick, making it somewhat difficult to read. This is our best shot:

“Our response to the hoax pandemic has been perfect–so perfect, it’s good. Good.  Real good.

“In the past I’ve rated my leadership as a 10, but that obviously is too low, even on a scale of one to five. Let me explain some of the amazing things I’ve done. I removed all those pesky doctors and scientists from the pandemic task force. I also removed every inspector general I could find. All they did was slow down progress.

“Next, I put Vice President Pence in charge of the pandemic task force. I’ve heard good things about him, I’m not sure I ever met him, but people say good things about him. He has years of expertise for this type of problem.

“Next, I put Jared Kushner in charge. It might be the same task force, it might be a different one. It doesn’t matter. Jared has so much experience. Many years. He has more years experience than he’s been alive.

“I announced that I may create another task force. Is it the second, or is it the third. Who knows. More is better. I’d put Ivanka in charge, but I don’t want her to keep missing her guitar lessons.

“You know, she created over two thirds of the jobs in America. The other third were stolen by hoards of immigrants when they weren’t raping, murdering, or smuggling drugs. So if you ever had a job, it’s thanks to Ivanka. Besides, she’s hot. I mean, if I weren’t her father, mmm mmm. Gotta love Ivanka.

“Finally, I’ve managed to seize millions of dollars worth medical equipment and supplies that was being hoarded by hospitals. All they were doing is using things once, then throwing them away. Wasteful. Sad.

“In any case, my performance has been perfect and getting better.”

 

Biblical Thoughts for Today

When you live as long as I have, there is plenty of time to read, so I’ve taken advantage of the opportunity. There is much to be learned from the various sacred texts of people throughout the earth. Today I’m going to focus on the New Testament of the Christian Bible.

First, I have no quarrel with those who place high importance on attending religious services. Your Jesus said a couple of things that you might want to meditate on.

  • Then he said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath.” (Mark 2:27)
  • “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least
    of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’   (Matthew 25:40)

I suspect passing along disease during a pandemic might apply. I leave that for you to discern whether it applies to you.

Second, many celebrate this Sunday as Palm Sunday, when Jesus was welcomed into Jerusalem to wild adulation, which Jesus did not seek. Not many days later, the crowd’s tune changed to the demand for His torture and death.

I commend this thought to the rich and powerful for whom adulation is so important.

No Integrity Allowed

Trump fires intelligence community watchdog who told Congress about whistleblower complaint that led to impeachment

CNN Headline

Apparently, the White House has decided that integrity is a disqualifying factor for employment in the federal government. This is probably why CAPT Brett Crozier, the skipper of the USS Theodore Roosevelt was cashiered. CAPT Crozier put the safety of his men above himself and his career. Such blatant integrity is not to be tolerated.

A final irony is that a REAL Navy Captain was fired on the orders of an ACTING Secretary of the Navy. Since Acting Navy Secretary Thomas Modly’s action does not appear to be a public relations coup, let’s see how long it takes for Trump to throw him under the bus.

I can’t wait to see how historians portray this president for middle school civics classes in twenty years.

Don’t Worry, Be Happy!

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People say–many people, many-many people–that self-proclaimed stable genius Donald Trump, has the hoax, but not a hoax, Corona Virus situation under control. His solution is perfect–read the non-transcript. It’s perfect.

So, to those of you having difficulty breathing, a 104 degree fever, and hallucinations, don’t worry. It’s all okay. It’s totally okay.

Trump’s gut, which is smarter than you will ever be, told him to put Jared Kushner in charge of the pandemic. One reason is because Jared (the son-in-law, not the jeweler) did such a marvelous job in negotiating peace between Israel and Palestine. The peace was perfect, except for the continuing hostilities and casualties. However, it was perfect, just perfect.

Kushner, a real estate developer (not a slumlord), requires no education or experience in medicine, epidemiology, or disaster management, to be the obvious choice. Out of 329 and a half million people in America, including 11 million medical doctors and tens of millions of other scientists, HE is the one with the unique skills to handle this.

Kushner’s other bona-fides include marrying into the Trump family, although, his wife chose to keep her surname. Many people say, or so I’ve heard, this males things easier during a divorce. But then again, that might be a hoax. Or not. Or fake news. Or not.

In any case it’s good. It’s perfect. Just perfect.

 

Darwinistic Intervention

Updated Guidelines for Management of Hospital-Acquired ...

Fox News, that bastion of conservative conservatism, is at the top of the prime time news ratings with 2.3 million viewers. This means that 0.00007 percent of Americans are watching Fox News primetime. (Audience figures from Fox, US population data from the the US Census Bureau–census.gov),

Fox uberstar Sean Hannity’s show almost triples that with an audience of 6.5 million, which represents 0.0002 percent of the American population.

In comparison, The Simpsons cartoon, in its 31st year on the air (Fox) still draws about 4.08 million viewers, down from its peak of over 14 million in the early 21st century.

However, inside this wonderfully encouraging conservative silver lining, there’s s dark cloud. This is caused by the novel corona virus, COVID-19.

  • Fox and Hannity viewers have a median age of 65 (down from 66) the median age for susceptibility to COVID-19.
  • Fox and Hannity viewers, by virtue of age, have a variety of pre-existing medical conditions, such as high blood pressure, asthma, allergies, diabetes, etc. that may make them more susceptible to acquiring the disease and more difficult to recover.
  • Older people with underlying medical issues are more likely to experience opportunistic infections such as pneumonia, and possibly tuberculosis.  Antivaxxers might be at higher risk.
  • Fox and Hannity viewers often live in rural communities in which sophisticated medical care is less readily available and at a greater distance.

What happens if the current administration’s base, believing that the Corona Virus is a fake, intended to discredit the president, succumb to the COVID-19 at a disproportionate rate?

Could this be a Darwinian event?

 

 

Consider the Source

Thirty-one year-old actress-singer Vanessa Hudgens made some inappropriate comments about the coronavirus and is desperately attempting to correct the indiscretion.

If the opinions were presented by a 31 year-old physician, epidemiologist, or other scientist, I’d agree that it was a serious matter. However, actors and singers are not good sources for medical advice. They are skilled at emoting. Much of the time, they are presenting words and actions written into a script or a song that are not their own.

So why do we put so much stock into what celebrities say and do? I’ll explain that in a forthcoming diatribe. For now, please, consider the source. Don’t expect scientists to sing. Don’t expect physicists to win Oscars. Don’t seek medical advice from actors or singers.

Surrounded by Idiots

With regard to COVID 19–Laurence J. Peter, a professor at the University of Southern California, proposed that cream rises until it sours. The Peter Principle states that in a hierarchy, an employee advances until they reach incompetency, after which time they neither advance nor decline. A good grocery clerk might be advanced to department manager and continue to do a great job. However, when promoted to assistant store manage, if they perform poorly, they remain an assistant store manager.

In emergent situations, this process accelerates; today’s idiot is tomorrow’s idiot-in-charge.

It was an idiot-in-charge who decided that celebrities should have front of the line privileges for the COVID-19 test.

Idiots-in-charge are the ones deciding that meetings, religious services, etc. should include hundreds of people in an enclosed space.

Idiots-in-charge also engage in independent operations by boarding aircraft when they know or suspect that they have the virus.

Beware of these idiots! They are not difficult to spot–you know what to look for.

Aye, the Play’s the Thinge

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The Trump Thespian Society is known for famous actors. These include Mick Mulvaney with acting credits for both the Office of Management and Budget Director and Chief of Staff,  as well as such well known stars as Jim Mattis, Jeff Sessions, John Kelly, etc., etc., etc.

Ladies and gentlemen, tonight the role of Chief of Staff will be played by Mark Meadows.

 

. . . and several butchers’ aprons. And now, something completely different.

In order to save the American people from the coronavirus, President Trump has sprained both his thumbs as he attempts to twitter* away the disease.

 

* If one who runs is a runner and one who bakes is a baker, is one who uses twitter a twit?

Prejudicial, I Mean Presidential, Politics

I love politics! I love the intrigue, the feints, the intrigue, the outrageous claims, the intrigue, and counterclaims. Did I mention intrigue? If you wrote about real life politics as fiction, your editor would strike it out. In real life, though,  it is, sadly, real.

Your Joe Biden now looks to be in a good position to win the Democratic Party’s nomination. In the meantime, the Grand OLD Party (Did you notice a bit of a sardonic edge there?) is preparing to investigate Biden, his son, his mother’s cousin twice removed, and a classmate of his from kindergarten. (Look at her eyes in the kindergarten class picture! Need I say more?)

What should he do? What should he do?

He could say:

  1. “I believe you have an issue with my son, Hunter Biden. Whether or not it’s valid, when he became a legal adult, I no longer could tell him what to do. I couldn’t even see his grades from college or make a medical appointment for him. Even if I wanted to control him, I could not. Deal directly with him. (Since he’s not running for public office, he’ll probably just ignore you.”
  2. “Inasmuch as we are looking at my son, it’s only fair that you either self report on any and all irregularities with regard to your children in addition to any questionable acts that you might have committed. People will be conducting an investigation of you and your children’s activities over the past 20 years.”
  3. “Why? Why will this happen? What’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.”