Donny’s Farewell

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“Okay, everybody, listen up. We’ve got a lot to do and it all has to be done before noon on January 20th, so pay attention. First things first. Everybody needs to pick up a trump election recount pledge card and fill in the amount you will be donating. You can make the actual donation anytime before the 20th since it needs to be in cash, non-sequential bills, in a plain brown wrapper.”

“Excuse me,” one of the participants interjected, “All of the counts are done, certified, and accepted, so why a recount fund?”

“Mitch, you of all people should know that it was never going to be used for a recount. This is for future operations.”

“But what about the Republican Party?”

“Mitch, if you want to have a party, have at it. Just make sure that you donate until it hurts.

“Now, without further distractions, let’s continue. There will be four lines. The first, to my left and to your right is for pardons. Each requested pardon needs to be accompanied by a separate pledge card. Pardons can be extended for actual crimes in which a person has been adjudged guilty, for actions that may or may not be a crime, and for general “Get out of Jail Free” pardons.

“The next line is for commutations. If a criminal act is pardoned, you will no be longer protected by the Fifth Amendment against self incrimination and the individual is viewed as actually being a criminal–a pardoned criminal, but a criminal nevertheless. On the other hand, a commutation retains your fifth amendment rights, although you won’t be able to vote or own a firearm. Choose wisely.

“The third line is for last minute federal appointments. If you’re appointed an ambassador for 15 minutes, you’re still a bonafide ambassador. Want to be a lobbyist for the communications industry? Get appointed to the Federal Communications Commission for the remainder of the President’s term. Same goes for environmental protection, justice department, Food and Drug administration–you name it.

“The last line is for those of you seeking a Presidential Medal of Freedom. Yes, that’s right, you too can be honored by this prestigious medal and join such notable winners as Rush Limbaugh, Andy Griffith, Arnold Palmer, and, of course, Bill Cosby.

“There are Concierge desks set up in each of the corners of the hall. Ivanka is manning one, Jared Kirchner, another, as well as Don, Jr. and Eric. If you have a special request, please complete your pledge card first, then meet with one of the concierges. If you are seeking more than one consideration, merely have a separate pledge card for each request. According to the president’s accountants, all these contributions are tax deductible!

“You’ll never have an opportunity quite like this, so act now.”

Russia Who?

Trump's Press Conference With Putin Will Go Down in ...
“I love you, man! “

At the end of his monumental (read “disastrous”) presidency, trump once again deflects criticism of Russia.

When first elected and it was obvious that there had been foreign influence, with all signs pointing to Russia, trump said, “Maybe it was China. Who knows?”

After that, he kowtowed to Putin (and every other despotic dictator) at every opportunity.

There has been a massive cyberattack against the American government and American industry that has been ongoing for months. Once again, the intelligence experts suspect Russia. Once again, trump disagrees and blames China.

I don’t know about you, but it would scare the hell out of me to have an ex-ruler with access to any and all of the nation’s secrets–including weapons, who also had multi-million dollar loans coming due, a cash flow problem, and no ethics.

“Vlad, here’s the deal. You finance a trump tower in Moscow, slip me a little gift under the table and I’ll tell you all about [fill in the TOP SECRET subject here].” Of course, that’s assuming that the stable genius hasn’t already spilled the beans so that Putin would say nice things about him.

Be afraid. Be very, very afraid.

I’m not worried–I died millenia ago. On the other hand, you should worry.

Identity Crisis

If I, Diogenese, the founder of the philosophical discipline of Cynicism become befuddled, that means that the situation I see is really and truly fucked up. Sorry about that, but no matter how crazy living people can be, no one before has ever tried to out-crazy me.

All I can do is try to find some humor in it…. /..-/–/—/.-.

Great Leaders in History: Napoleon Bonaparte - YouTube

A man with serious delusions was under treatment in a psychiatric hospital. The new psychiatric resident sat down with him in his semi-private room and tried to engage him in a conversation.

“Hello, I’m Dr. Johnson and I’ll be helping to care for you. And what is your name?” The patient sat up in bed, tucked his right hand into his shirt and announced with an impressive French accent.

“I, sir, am Napoleon Bonaparte, the greatest general in the history of the world!” The resident maintained his cool and replied.

“General, or should I say, Emperor Bonaparte, it is truly a pleasure to meet you. The entire world knows of your skills and your deeds. I would shake your hand, but I don’t know if that would be appropriate.”

“It would,” the patient replied, extending his hand, “given that you have been ushered into my private chambers. France’s values of liberté, égalité, fraternité are well known.”

“Yes, sir, they are,” the resident replied, “and wonderful values they are that have defined France so well.” The patient smiled and nodded his assent.

“With my apologies, sir, I must ask you an unusual question. Who told you that you were Napoleon Bonaparte?”

“God did!” the patient replied forcefully.

Donald Trump, the patient in the other bed sat bolt upright, crossed his arms across his chest and replied loudly, “I MOST CERTAINLY DID NOT!”

Liar! Liar!

It’s bad enough that there are people who tell lies. Some tell outrageous lies. A few repeatedly tell lies that everyone knows are lies. Even fewer tell outrageous lies, people know that they’re lies, but agree with the lie as if it were true.

Godwin’s law (or Godwin’s rule of Hitler analogies) asserts that “as an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1.”

With apologies to Mike Godwin, we have reached that point. Adolph Hitler, in his book Mein Kampf posited that a big lie was best because people would assume that no one “could have the impudence to distort the truth so infamously.”

I could point out parallel after parallel between the two men, but you’ve probably figured that out already. All I can say is that if you see a lie, don’t believe it, don’t repeat it, and don’t make it acceptable.

https://pearlsofprofundity.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/adolf-hitler-graphic-1.jpg
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Scorched Earth

In 1939, during the Second World War, the German-Soviet Nonaggression Pact–also known as the Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact–was signed. Stalin was wary. Hitler was lying. In 1941, Operation BARBAROSSA–the invasion of the Soviet Union by Germany began.

Hitler believed that Germany’s blitzkrieg tactic would make short work of the Soviets, and at first it looked like he was right,. However, the deeper the Germans moved into Soviet Territory, the slower the progress. Many people believe it was the Soviet winter that defeated the Germans as it had Napoleon’s Army. It worked against Germany, but there were other factors at play.

The Soviet’s needed time to build tanks and aircraft. If the German Army could be delayed, the Soviets could overwhelm them with numbers. To buy time, the Soviets destroyed their homes and fields as the German army approached. When the Germans advanced, they found that the food was gone, building materials were gone, anything useful was gone.

At Stalingrad, the Soviets employed all of their troops along with the equipment they had. As the Germans destroyed people and tanks, replacements quickly filled the void. The Germans were cut off. The Soviet tanks were inferior to Germany’s, but Soviet industry kept building them and the Soviet soldiers kept attacking. Eventually, the Germans ran out of ammunition, food, and fuel and this the winter made a huge difference. Many starved, others froze, and still the Soviets kept attacking.

What Germans survived surrendered at Stalingrad. Ninety-one thousand Germans were captured. Only 5,000 were returned. The scorched earth policy had bought the Soviet Union the time it needed to rearm and ultimately win.

I am watching your president. He is attempting to execute a scorched earth policy of his own. Unfortunately, there is no advantage to America or the American people. Instead, he is attempting to commit societal suicide–genocide on his own people.

I hope for your sake he fails at this as he has failed at so many other things.

It’s Over(ish)

Your latest election is over and you have a new president. Some of you thought Biden’s age would be a problem, but I firmly believe it’s an asset. I would, of course, having been born 2,400 years ago, and I think I turned out damn near perfect, although a little cynical!

There’s an old saying that generals fight the last war, rather than the next one. Here’s hoping that politicians do not suffer from the same fate. There is no coulda, woulda, shoulda, so move forward.

Sharpiegate

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I love watching 21st Century humans–they’re hilarious. Your television comedies can’t compete with the real world antics of your most influential people. Lately, I’ve been grateful that I no longer have a physical body, because if I did, I would have certainly pulled some muscle or another because of laughing so hard.

Your (current) president loves sharpies. He signs his jaggedy signature with them as a way of saying, “Look at ME!” Apparently he believes that he can control the weather with a sharpie. So far he’s the only one who believes he’s been successful at it.

On the other hand, your (current) president hates sharpies. Apparently there are legal maneuvers underway to protest ballots that were completed with a sharpie. The claim is that the marks made with a sharpie bleed through the ballot. The counter argument is that ballots are constructed so that if any bleed through occurs, it will be on a part of the ballot that is not scanned.

In fact, the poll workers say that sharpies actually do a better job of marking ballots than pens or pencils.

After claiming victory, word is that your (current) president is planning to use his sharpie to write “270” next to his name.

Atlas Should Have Shrugged

Scott Atlas apologizes for interview with Kremlin-funded RT
Dr. Scott Atlas, Self=Proclaimed Genius Extraordinaire

WASHINGTON (Reuters) – White House coronavirus adviser Scott Atlas apologized on Sunday for giving an interview to Russia’s Kremlin-backed television station RT, saying he was unaware the outlet was a registered foreign agent in the United States.

Dr. Atlas, the neuroradiologist who knows virtually nothing about epidemiology is equally ignorant about Russian propaganda channels. He gave an interview to RT, which originally stood for “Russia Today,” a major outlet for Russia’s official position but claimed he didn’t know it was run by the Kremlin.

Any intelligent person would have someone vet the media source before agreeing to speak on the record to their reporters. Not so with Dr. Atlas.

However, I for one think that you need not worry. If Dr. Atlas dispensed the same erroneous claptrap to the Russians as he does to the American people, he just kneecapped Vladimir Putin’s efforts to get past the COVID-19 epidemic.

Those who can, do. Those who can’t teach. Those who haven’t a clue drone on endlessly to anyone who will listen And, yes, at least some become radiologists.

Unintended Consequences

As your general election approaches, I recommend that you take as notebook and write down the issues that are currently seen as important. Things such as:

  • The COVID-19 pandemic
  • The failure to effectively address the COVID-19 pandemic
  • The rush to appoint another conservative justice to the Supreme Court
  • The divisiveness of the political process
  • The failure of America, as a whole, to address racism
  • The rise of white supremacists, who are treated by much of the world as a terrorist organization
  • The treatment of people who wish to emigrate to America
  • Efforts to roll back health care coverage, especially for people with pre-existing conditions

Set a reminder for November 3, 2022. When the reminder sounds its alarm, pour yourself a double of your preferred adult beverage. Retrieve the list and look at each item. Write down what the outcome, including the second and third effects. For example, without the influx of immigrants joining the workforce, how will social security be doing? Is it adequately funded with fewer workers? (In 1945, there were 41.9 workers for every social security recipient. Today it is 2.8 workers.)

For your sake, I hope things turn out well.

Talking Bird

One of the houses near the sewer in which I live has some type of talking bird. I don’t know if it’s a mynah, a crow, or some breed of parrot. In any case, it’s driving me crazy. Over and over it says the same thing:

“Rounding the turn!”

“Rounding the turn!”

“Rounding the turn!”

That’s one reason why I like dogs best — they don’t talk.